


If You Want To Sing Out, DON'T!

by americanstalker



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Chicago Cubs, Gen, Tampa Bay Rays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 10:17:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanstalker/pseuds/americanstalker
Summary: A couple of the guys on the Cubs decide to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, despite warnings, with hilarious/traumatizing results.





	If You Want To Sing Out, DON'T!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm turning on the way back machine because I can, and I've decided to go back to May of 2017. The idea just came to me at work. After the dismal season the Cubs had, and their uncertain future, I need to have a few laughs.

It was an off-day, and given that it was St. Louis, there wasn’t a lot to do. Anthony Rizzo, Kris Bryant, Ben Zobrist, Javy Baez, Ian Happ, Kyle Schwarber, and Jake Arrieta had finished their workout, so they decided to kill some time and see a movie.

  
  


“Anything good playing?” Anthony asked as he went for his phone. Kris suggested the new _Guardians of the Galaxy _movie. Ben said that he had seen the first one, which was also excellent.

  
  


“So are we agreed, is it _Guardians of the Galaxy?_**” **Kyle asked everyone. Nods of assent and "yes" went around the room.

  
  


“Which showing, then?" Ian asked as he took out his smartphone and opened the Fandango app. They agreed on a time, bought their tickets, and decided to go to TGI Friday's after the movie.

  
  


***

  
  


“What are you guys up to?” Joe Maddon asked his players when he ran into them on their way to the theater.

  
  


“We're going to see the new _Guardians of the Galaxy _movie," Kris explained. He was just as excited about it as Ben.

  
  


Joe remembered when Ben saw the first _Guardians of the Galaxy _movie. It still haunted his nightmares. The second-baseman sang for days, loudly and off-key, to the point that he was threatened with violence.

  
  


Anthony and Jake told everyone to wait that they needed to talk to Joe real quick.

“Did Ben say that he saw the first one?” he asked his players.

  
  


“Yeah, he said that he hoped this one was just as good. Why?” Anthony asked.

  
  


“What happened afterward was a little much, to say the least," Joe explained.

  
  


“How so?” Jake asked.

  
  


_Ben was singing “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” after a game against Toronto and was trying to rope someone into a duet when Grant grabbed him by his T-shirt and shoved him into his locker._

  
  


“_I swear if you don’t shut your gob, I’ll shut it for you, you little wanker!” Grant shouted at Ben as he pushed him against his cubby. Brandon Guyer, David DeJesus, and Jose Molina, along with Joe, intervened and broke it up. David guided Ben to his locker, while Joe took Grant to his._

  
  


“_What happened, Zo? You all right?” David asked his friend. They knew Grant had a temper, but no one thought he would let it out on Ben, of all people._

  
  


“_Grant was a jerk. He was mad at me for singing again," Ben explained with a nod. While he was talking to his friends, Joe was dealing with the other party._

  
  


“_I’ll talk to Ben about the singing, okay? But that was not the way to resolve it. Do you understand?” Joe asked him. Grant responded with a nod of his own. With all of that settled, he turned to the rest of the players in the clubhouse._

  
  


“_All right, then, everyone, let’s cleaned up and get moving. We have a plane to catch!”_

  
  


“Grant Balfour threatened to beat me up," Ben explained to Jake in a low voice, his blue eyes downcast as they walked to the theater. Anthony, Kris, Kyle, Ian, Javy, and Jake exchanged looks of shock and disgust. _Why on earth would anyone want to beat up Ben, _they all thought. Sure, he drove them nuts at times, they all did time to time, but they couldn’t fathom _intentionally _hurting him.

  
  


“Why would he want to beat you up?” Jake asked him as they got closer. He knew that the Australian had a reputation for being a hothead, but threatening a teammate was going a step too far.

  
  


“I sang too much,” he explained.

  
  


“That’s it? You were singing?” Jake replied with a raised eyebrow.

  
  


“Well, there's a bit more to it than that, but yes, that's why he did it. He decided that he had enough, and he threatened me to make me stop," Ben matter-of-factly told the pitcher as the group approached the theater, opening the door for them.

  
  


They got their tickets and then bought some soda and snacks. The choices were as varied as the players. Anthony enjoyed Junior Mints, while Ian happily nibbled on his Raisinettes. Ben was content with his popcorn and Mountain Dew, which he offered to share with anyone interested.

Just like most everyone in the theater, he rocked out to the soundtrack and mouthed along to the lyrics of the songs. When they got out of the theater, Ben was singing “Don't Stop Me Now” by Queen.

“It has begun," Ian said to Kyle, who nodded in agreement.

  
  


***

  
  


Joe was right. Ben sang a lot, loudly, and off-key, for the rest of the series. Some might have likened the sound his singing to that of someone strangling a cat. He mostly sang in the shower, but he also sang while he went downstairs for breakfast and as he got ready to go to the ballpark. His favorites were “Surrender” by Cheap Trick and “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by The Looking Glass.

  
  


They all reached their breaking point on the last game of the series when he was singing “The Chain” by Fleetwood Mac in the shower after their series finale. As usual, the guys made snarky remarks in response to the lyrics, which only served to egg him on.

  
  


“_Listen to the wind blow, watch the sunrise,_**” **Ben started.

  
  


“Have to get up in the morning, can’t do that,” David Bote remarked.

  
  


“_Run in the shadows…_**” **he continued.

  
  


“I might get hurt if I did that, and Joe wouldn’t be happy,” Kyle Hendricks replied.

  
  


“_Damn your love, damn your lies…”_

  
  


“Watch your language,” Kris warned Ben.

  
  


“_And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again_!” Ben was now using his bar of soap as a microphone and pointing at Addison Russell.

  
  


“I never loved you in the first place!” He shrieked indignantly.

  
  


“_I can still hear you say-_,” Ben was interrupted by Joe.

  
  


“Benjamin, that’s enough!” Joe shouted from the clubhouse. He felt that someone had to speak up to get him to cease and desist, since no one else would, for a couple of reasons.

  
  


First of all, while it was getting on everyone's nerves, the rest of the team liked him too much to admit it. Second, Joe hated it when someone butchered a classic like "The Chain."

  
  


Ben immediately stopped his caterwauling. It was a rarity for Joe to yell, just as it was one for Ben to swear.

  
  


“It’s driving us all crazy. It’s just that nobody wants to say it because we all like you. Will you please knock it off, for the sake of everyone’s sanity?” Joe asked him.

  
  


“Okay,” Ben replied as he finished up and left to get dressed. Everyone else in the shower room let out a sigh of relief, happy that the insanity was over.

  
  


***

  
  


On the way back to Chicago, Ben quietly sang along to "Lake Shore Drive" by Aliotta, Haynes, and Jeremiah as he worked on a story on his MacBook Pro. He looked up to see Javy watching and listening to him.

  
  


“What?” Ben asked as he looked up from his work and took out his earbuds to find his teammate smiling at him.

  
  


“Nothing, really," he replied with a smile. "I just noticed that your voice sounds a lot better when you're relaxed like this, and not when you're belting it out in the shower."

  
  


“Thanks," Ben smiled. He looked out the window and noticed that they were getting close to the ballpark, so he saved his work, shut down, and put his laptop and iPhone into his backpack.

  
  


“I'm so glad to be home. How about you?" He asked as he leaned back against his seat.

  
  


“Hmm, yeah. Now your wife's going to have to deal with your singing," Javy teased Ben as the bus pulled into the Wrigley Field parking lot, and the driver turned on the interior lights.

  
  


“Very funny,” he muttered as he grabbed his bag and got ready to file off the bus with everyone else. Ben then decided that from now on out, he was going to keep his singing to church.

**Author's Note:**

> I mean no offense to Ben. He might be a good singer.
> 
> The title is a play on the song “If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out” by Cat Stevens, and a reference to there being another song by him being in the movie (“Father and Son”).
> 
> “The Chain” by Fleetwood Mac is also a favorite of mine. I wouldn’t blame Joe for being offended if someone was butchering it.


End file.
